Uncategorized – Page 6 – Shana Figueroa

May 29, 2017May 29, 2017

Making a Book Trailer

I decided it might be fun to make a book trailer. All the trailers I looked up as research seemed fairly lame and generic, involving pictures of hot guys, hot chicks, and sometimes flowers fading in and out (not that pics of hot guys are bad…they just don’t inspire me to buy a book, cuz let’s face it—sweaty washboard abs on the covers of romance novels are a dime a dozen). Instrumental music plays as cursive words float across the screen to the effect of, “He/she’s been burned by love. Will he/she ever love again?” etc. (Spoiler – yes, they will love again)

I…probably can’t do any better, but since my back-up life plan is to become a film director if this author thing doesn’t work out, I thought it’d be fun to try. I’ve got a video camera (even my phone would work), a computer, and working knowledge of story arcs. All I need now is video editing software, like Adobe Premier, and some friends willing to act for a free lunch, and I’m golden!

I had this idea to try something different with my book video. Instead of playing up the “what” of the book, I’ll try emphasizing how my book fits into a reader’s identity – the “why.” Per Simon Sinek, this is a winning strategy. Of course, I need to keep it short and as inexpensive as possible, ideally costing zero dollars.

After thinking about it for a while, I came up with my first commercial. I storyboarded it and everything! Check it out:

It’s practically Monet. …Don’t judge me.

It probably won’t end up exactly like this, but something close to this. On a related note, I’m trying to teach myself how to draw, so when I do this in the future it won’t be terrible stick figures:

I’m very proud of my animal drawings, including this bull. It might be my greatest life accomplishment, as you can tell from the look on my face.

Here’s my foolproof plan:

1. Get an idea for a book trailer (check)
2. Sketch out this idea via a storyboard (check)
3. Practice using Adobe Premier by recording footage of some random stuff and editing it
4. After achieving decent proficiency with Adobe Premier, enlist friends to be in my video
5. Record my video
6. Splice it into the trailer
7. Release trailer on YouTube
8. Get a billion hits, become viral sensation

It’s just that easy. I may try my hand at creating other videos of increasing complexity, possibly fake commercials, and working my way up to a short movie. In fact, I’ve already got an idea for a movie…but I’ll save that for another post.

I shall keep you all abreast of my progress, loyal fans!!!

May 8, 2017May 29, 2017

Why “Having It All” Is A Stupid Concept

“See? Give it up, ladies, and get back into the kitchen after you soothe that crying baby!” – The Patriarchy

I was reading an article recently about how Millennials apparently long for more traditional gender roles than their predecessors, based on studies and whatnot. The author speculated as to why this could be; perhaps young men are now beginning to fear women taking their jobs, and are resentful of having to compete with their female counterparts in a shrinking job market. Or, perhaps it’s a backlash to the new-wave feminism of the 90’s (whatever that is).

However, instead of ending on a relatively objective note, the author takes a hard-right into sexism when she notes, “Maybe women have finally realized they can’t have it all, and the newest generation is becoming content to accept that men and women have different aptitudes for different things. Maybe there is hope for the Millennials after all.”

Yes, Millennials must be learning to accept the fact that a woman deserves to be paid less than a man for doing the same job because…of ovaries and vaginas, I guess. Why can’t us old new-wave feminist bitches just accept our naturally inferior status already? Must be too much estrogen.

Putting aside the fact that you should never accept being told you are equal while being treated as less than equal because of some innate trait attributed to your gender/race/religion/etc., who is honestly lamenting the fact they can’t have it all? What does “having it all” even mean? Is it success in your work and personal life? And why is this something women must struggle with, but not men?

If we’re going to honestly unpack it, the gist is that women who work outside the home are also supposed to want to do all the usual traditional lady chores as well, like cooking and cleaning and laundry – and they should feel bad if they can’t do it all anymore because they’re working. Of course, nobody really wants to do these things, but since they usually fall on women to accomplish then we should feel obligated to do them, I guess.

Or maybe it’s just the kid-specific stuff, like chaperoning playdates and gazing lovingly at your beautiful child as he frolics in the dirt and whatnot, which women are supposed to feel bad for not doing.

But men have been working outside the home for all of human existence, and they don’t cry about not “having it all.”

Basically, much like women are slut-shamed for daring to have sex just for fun, this whole “having it all” concept is a passive-aggressive way to shame women for daring to work outside the home and be happy with their decision.

“Oh, you’re a bank exec. Sounds high-powered – good for you! Must be long hours, though. Don’t you feel bad about not being able to spend more time with your kids? Well don’t you? It’s so hard to have it all, right?”

“Having it all” is code for “being a good mother while holding down sometimes-demanding outside employment,” and it’s something we can’t have.

Except I know a lot of women with full-time jobs and a family, who are somehow happy with their lives and manage to raise well-adjusted children – myself included (fingers crossed my kids stay well-adjusted; they seem fine for now, anyway).

So screw “having it all.” If you’re happy with your life, then you already have it.

April 17, 2017

Why I Can’t With Alpha Males

That is one serious Alpha male. Nice lion you’ve got there. She’s probably going to bite your face off, FYI.

I get the appeal of alpha males. Alpha males are strong, assertive, in control, dominant…slap a sexy body on it, and he’s howl-worthy. Part of being a writer (a good writer, anyway) is being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes, and imagine what something might be like from somebody else’s point of view. So I definitely understand the appeal. Myself, though…personally I can’t stand them.

Whether they’re real or fictional, Alpha males always rub me the wrong way. Whenever I read a romance and the dude starts going Alpha – which is like 85% of all romances – I immediately begin to dislike him, and usually stop reading. This is why, I have to admit, I start but don’t finish a lot of romance novels. I’m a bad romance novelist that way. It’s hard to read up on everything in your genre when you’re constantly yelling “Fuck you!” at the pages. My desire to kick the dude in the nuts becomes overwhelming. The problem, I realize, is me.

I’m a real-life Alpha female. And Alphas don’t mix.

What are my Alpha female bona fides? Well, the word Commander is literally in my day-job title. I suck at most sports – except the ones where you beat people up. I’m really good at those. I’m the primary breadwinner of the family. I’m usually the de facto leader of things in general.

But here’s the thing – Alphas are often abrasive, arrogant, self-centered, bossy, unyielding, bombastic, and harsh. I’ve been all these things at some point (even right now as I’m writing this post!), though I try to temper them for the sake of navigating polite society. And let’s face it – it’s more acceptable for men to display these traits. Sexism and all that.

When you put two of these kinds of people together…Fireworks happen, and not the good kind.

I had a Taekwondo instructor once who was definitely an Alpha male – think a Korean Bruce Lee with an even darker edge – and I eventually had to stop going to the classes he taught because we clashed too often. It wasn’t sexual tension, just pure animosity.

So reading about other Alpha males always raises my hackles. As I’m trying to identify with the heroine, and the hero is doing his Alpha thing while she supposedly brings him to his figurative knees such that he changes his ways just for her, I can’t help but desperately wish she would bitch-slap that asshole. Let him work through his own fucking issues by himself. Oh, he “takes what he wants,” and that’s you? Fuck that. Fuck that hard. NOBODY should take you. And if he tries, hate him forever. If he can’t love you on your terms, then screw him. Choose you, Anastasia!

April 11, 2017

Book Trailer to Rock World Coming

I’ve been watching other authors’ frankly shitty-ass book trailers and decided I can do better.

Do these things actually sell books? I suspect not, but since I aspire to be a big Hollywood film director if this writing stuff doesn’t work out–gotta be realistic, after all–I thought I’d try my hand at it. After sampling a bunch, I realized they all suffer from the same problem of just showing people the book rather than convincing them why they need this book in their lives. As Simon Sinek says, you have to start with why, then work your way out to the actual thing you’re offering.

I want to convince my readers they’re the kinds of people who read my book–mainly, kick-ass women. How will I do this? By showing other kick-ass women reading my book.

Will it work? …I dunno. But it’ll be fun to try. Anticipate a kick-ass book trailer for the Valentine Shepherd series in May 2017!

April 7, 2017October 22, 2017

Awesome Deals You Can’t Miss!

It’s FREE STUFF GOODIES TIME!

(Like Peanut Butter Jelly Time, but better)

First awesome goodie: Sign up for my newsletter, and receive a FREE e-copy of VENGEANCE! To claim your free copy, just e-mail me at shanafigueroaauthor@gmail.com and request your sweet bounty!

Second awesome goodie: Write an honest review of one of the books in the Valentine Shepherd Series, e-mail me (shanafigueroaauthor@gmail.com) a link to the review, and receive an e-copy of the NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES for free!

So…much…good…stuff…

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017

My Do-It-Yourself Marketing Checklist

I’ve got two careers now – I’m an active duty military officer, and I’m also an author.

I really enjoy writing, and do it at every opportunity: during lunch, after work, while waiting for things, while standing in line for some amusement park ride, etc. In fact, I have to force myself to NOT do it and sometimes focus in things like my husband and children, and reading, and sometimes watching TV. After having little sales success with a PR firm I hired to help me market my last book, RETRIBUTION, I decided to take matters into my own hands and begin an aggressive marketing push on my own.

Of course, I have no idea how to do this. I’d really rather be writing. But I sucked it up and put together a little checklist – because that’s what we do in the military – of marketing steps based on some notes I took at a writing conference last year and tips I gleaned off the Internet. I looked at this checklist, then I opened my work-in-progress manuscript and said hello to the characters waiting impatiently for me to continue my story, then I gritted my teeth and closed my manuscript, mentally kicked myself in the ass, and got to work doing something I really didn’t want to do.

Because nobody likes marketing. Except maybe the people who make a living off it, whatever. No author likes marketing. But after working my day job, I drag myself back to my little dorm room on the camp I’m currently in, and use the remaining couple hours of the day to plink away at my list. Here’s a link to my current draft of the list, which is a work in progress, for anyone who’s interested:

Schedule daily Facebook posts once a week
Write a blog every two weeks (STRETCH: once a week)
Spend 10 minutes each day liking/responding to other author’s Facebook posts
Compile a list of authors for blurbs/reviews
- Send author requests for blurbs/reviews
- Offer to send authors all three books
- Send ARCs to those who respond; follow up with those who don’t respond
- Have some suggested blurbs ready to make it super-easy for authors short on time
Compile list of romance book review blogs, ask them for reviewso
Update website to focus on my story, not my books
- Focus on what makes me unique/newsworthy/worth following, and what I can do for my readers
- Books should be secondary focus (even though primary goal is to sell books)
Find out what a pre-sales list is, try to make one myself
- Pre-sales list is a list of places that will pre-sell your book, like Amazon and Google
- Already have pre-sales going on via my publisher, so don’t need this
Create a sell sheet
- Used to convince bookstores to sell your books
- Not necessary for me
Create an online media kit
- A PDF file or webpage (most ppl prefer PDF, cuz it’s easier to copy from) that bloggers or other media people can use to quickly write a story or review about your book
- Keep it simple; ppl want to easily skim it and find the info they need
- Include in the kit:
  - A press release, usually the one you write for the book’s launch.
  - Author bio, including previous publications and qualifications to write the book. Include author’s platform information. (keep it very short)
  - Author photo, and it’s smart to include high-resolution files for print and low-resolution for online use.
  - Book photo, with the same resolutions as the author photo.
  - Any awards the book or series has won
  - Testimonials
  - Sample interview questions and Q&A
  - Excerpts from the book and sample chapters
  - Links to everything and contact info
  - Here’s a good example: <https://michaelhyatt.com/platform/media
E-mail press release to media and bloggers
- Create a press release
  - The purpose of a press release is to paint a picture of a kind of story the journalist might want to write. Use an arresting headline. Then start with the biggest news and work down to the least important detail. A press release has more formal language than a blog post because you are cramming facts in and must keep it short. Keep it to one page but use a decent sized font.
  - Think like a reporter. Don’t just describe the book; talk about your own story and how it’s unique, why people should care, and make that the focus of the press release
  - Use the headline in the subject line of the email. Put the text in the body of the email so the journalist doesn’t have to open any other document. Paid/free press release services basically spam thousands of journalists with no targeting, so it’s better to target specifically.
- Pitch your story (not your book) to the press
  - You should already have an idea of the target market for your book, your ideal reader. What else do they do apart from reading your book and where do they hang out? Look for publications that target this market, then drill down to the specific journalists who write about specific aspects around the topic. For the maximum chance of success, target them specifically.
  - Best time to reach a newspaper journalist is 1000-1200 (stories are usually due at 1400 local time)
  - First ask if you can pitch them a story (briefly describe in one or two sentences); if they say yes, then send them your press release and media kit
  - (?) HelpAReporter.com is brilliant though, so definitely subscribe. Sourcebottle.com.au is a similar service to match journalists with experts. Having a platform is also fantastic as people find you through the internet.
  - Make sure you have a Google Alert for your name and book title and any key-phrases, since sometimes you won’t be notified if media is actually published.
Create some memes (put name & website on them)
(maybe) Create a book trailer
Come up with special promotion offers ~1 month before book release

And there you go. It’s just that easy. I’m being facetious.

What I really want is not an avalanche of book sales (though I’m not gonna lie, that would be nice), but a readership base I can share my stories with. But in order to make that happen, I need to make people aware of my books first, and that’s the point of marketing. So here’s hoping it’s worth the effort!

March 12, 2017

Retribution Published, Reckoning on the Way!

Greetings fans!

Sorry for the radio silence over this last month – I’ve been working hard on the first round of edits for Reckoning, the third book in the Valentine Shepherd series. Now that I’m done with that (until round two), I can get back to the real world/social media.

I don’t know if you know this, but the second novel in the Valentine Shepherd series, Retribution, was published on February 7th! I’m very excited about it, and not just because I wrote it, really. It’s a strange series, unlike any other story out there. It’s very dark, very sexy, and very unique. Yet the story has, I would argue, more realistic characters than you’ll find in your average romantic suspense. Nobody’s straight-up good or bad; everybody’s gray. Valentine Shepherd is not a Strong Female Character, and Maxwell Carressa isn’t a simple Hunky Love Interest or Dark Brooding Billionaire; they both have way too many flaws and complexities to fit into any stereotype.

In fact, throughout the series, Val saves Max’s life several times using her guns and fists, while Max saves Val from herself by appealing to her emotions. It’s an interesting reversal of the usual gender roles, which I didn’t originally set out to do, but it made the most sense based on who they were as people.

So, if you like complicated people doing complicated things for complicated reasons, then this is the series for you!

February 4, 2017

Enter to Win a $25 Amazon Gift Card!

As you know, my new novel RETRIBUTION is coming out on February 7th!!

So it’s PROMO TIME!

I’m raffling off a $25 Amazon gift certificate, eligible to everyone on my author newsletter distro list on Feb 7th! (Includes people already on the list)

So if you’d like a chance at a $25 gift card, AND to read some awesome stuff, sign up for my author newsletter by Feb 7th, on the front page of my website! It’ll be the easiest thing you ever tried to win.

January 15, 2017

Romance Tip #2: Don’t Be Afraid to Dump Your Terrible Boyfriend

Don’t be afraid to dump your terrible boyfriend or girlfriend. Your life will go on. You will love again. And maybe, as a bonus, your ex-partner’s genitals will shrivel up and fall off.

Too many people stay in relationships with assholes because they either don’t want to be alone, think they really love this dickwad, get stuck in a routine/vicious cycle, or some combination of all three. Hell, every other episode of Dr. Phil features a couple sad sacks who are terrible for each other, begging the good doctor for advice to save their relationship when it’s obvious to anyone with self respect these two should just BREAK UP ALREADY.

But the non-asshole doesn’t want to, because he/she thinks they’ve put too much time and effort into the relationship to let it go. In the financial world, that’s called “sunk costs,” and should not be used as a reason to keep investing in a losing endeavor in the hopes you might get your money back. The asshole only wants to stay in the relationship because he/she enjoys the freedom of walking all over their partner; they haven’t sunk anything. In the military, we say you need to “cut sling load” here.

In other words, your relationship will never be as good as it was at its peak. If you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship, don’t expect things to change if you just try harder. If you don’t enjoy being somebody’s bitch (male or female), then it’s time to move on with your life, and don’t look back.

Here’s another excuse I hear from a lot from people in relationships with terrible human beings: “But I looooooove him!” No, honey. You know him. Knowing someone you sleep with really well and for a long time does not equal love. And just because you think you love someone doesn’t mean you should be together. You can love more than one person. Why stick with someone you’re not compatible with, or who treats you like shit? Life is too short for that nonsense.

Err on the side of dumping. Our planet hold approximately 7 billion people. If finding your soulmate is a “one in a million” occurrence, there are literally 700 million other people in the world you could find eternal happiness with. Don’t settle for the first person who comes along to make you smile or orgasm.

And for god’s sake, if you choose to stay with a raging douchcanoe, don’t constantly complain to your friends about your terrible boyfriend/girlfriend! Nobody wants to hear it. As they say in the military: Take a shit or get off the pot.

Bottom line: Don’t love somebody who doesn’t love you.

January 7, 2017

Author Newsletter Now Available!

Hello my multiple fans! (more than two, for sure)

I hope this doesn’t blow your mind too badly, but brace yourselves – I have an author newsletter now!!! Supposedly these things are critical to an author’s success. If they are all as great as mine, I can see why.

Initially, I had no idea how to make an author newsletter; I just knew that everyone was telling me I had to get one (along with a website and a blog and a Facebook presence and a Twitter following and an Instagram account and shoot me now). But after surfing the Internets, reading other author’s newsletters, and stealing their ideas, I figured out what should be in my newsletter. Then I subscribed to MailChimp, which is a free (up to a point) online service that sends out pre-fabbed e-mails for you, using a fairly easy-to-use drag-and-drop template to make your e-mail/newsletter look all fancy. Then, it takes the e-mail list comprised of people who’ve subscribed, and sends out your super-sweet newsletter whenever you tell it to. It’s just that easy!

I’m thinking of doing a (nominally) monthly newsletter. Luckily for you all, I write a hell of a newsletter. The first one – which I’ll send out in about a week to all the people currently on my mailing list (more than two…I’m assuming) – includes exciting things like a sneak peak at RETRIBUTION, the second book in the Valentine Shepherd series – coming out on February 7th! – as well as info on a secret project I’m working on, and CATS. How can you NOT subscribe?

To subscribe, sign up on the left side of my homepage. I won’t send you spam or abuse your e-mail or anything jerky like that. Honestly, I can’t wait to connect with my fans (……more than two???) and share exclusive info with you all!