How to Write a Good Fight/Sex Scene

[This blog was originally published in Night Owl Reviews]

Ladies, did you know I’m also a billionaire? It’s true! Sure, I inherited my billions from my father, who started with millions he inherited from his father and so on for several generations, but thanks to our system of tax breaks for the rich and rampant wealth distribution inequality, I grew those millions into billions! I am truly a self-made man. Have you seen my washboard abs? I mean, REALLY seen them?

Let’s be honest—the vast majority of fight/sex scenes in Hollywood and literature only exist to titillate. Most could be replaced by a sign or sentence that says “And then they have sex,” or “And then they fight.” I lump sex scenes and fight scenes together because the mechanics and purposes of both are very similar.

So how do you write a good one? Let’s pretend like I’m qualified to give advice on this, and no one has recognized my genius yet because I’ve been cursed by an evil witch who lives next door and is mad that I was rude to her cat one time. Here are my handy-dandy tips:

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